


3 Times Nikki Almost Found Out You're Trans

by dumbass-of-darkness (Websterhorse)



Category: Mötley Crüe
Genre: Gender Dysphoria, M/M, Slurs, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-29 23:36:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21418555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Websterhorse/pseuds/dumbass-of-darkness
Summary: Reader is a trans guy and Nikki almost finds out
Relationships: Nikki Sixx/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	3 Times Nikki Almost Found Out You're Trans

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this to cope with some bad dysphoria. Hope you like it!

The first time Nikki almost found out you're transgender was when you went to the beach together with Mötley Crüe.  
"Y/n, why aren't you taking your shirt off?" Nikki shouted to you from in the water.  
"Mick isn't taking his shirt of either, so why would I?"  
"Because Mick is Mick and we already tried to convince him."  
"And I am I and you won't convince me either"  
"But what if you want to swim? Won't you take your shirt of then?"  
"Maybe I won't swim"  
"Oh you will, I'll make you"  
You honestly really want to get in the water, but there are some things keeping you from doing it. First of all: nobody has seen your top surgery scars yet and you're afraid they might out you. You also can't wear your packer in your swimming trunks and you're afraid that when they're wet and stick to your body, they might notice you don't have a dick. You start to drift off in the sun and the next thing you know is roughly being woken up by the feeling of being thrown in the water. "What the fuck! Nikki!" You look over the bassist and notice that he's laughing. "I'll get you for this!" Now that you're in the water, you decide to not leave it just yet. You swim around for a bit before deciding that your shirt is hopelessly in the way. You pull it over your head and thrown it in Nikki's direction, the shirt perfectly hitting him in the face. He throws your shirt to the side and runs towards you, the water luckily slowing him down. You swim away from him, but he's faster than you. Once he reaches you, he pushes you under water.

After joking around in the water for a while, you decide to get back on land. Because of all the fun you had in the water, you totally forgot you're not wearing a shirt. "Dude, what are those scars on your chest?" You hear Tommy shout.  
Nikki joins in "These scars are huge! What happened to you? Is that why you didn't want to take your shirt off?"  
"I got surgery" it's not technically a lie, right? You did get some kind of surgery.  
"What kind?" Nikki sounds sceptical.  
Without thinking you give probably the worst answer you possibly could "I got some ribs removed so I could suck my own dick"  
"Sick!" Tommy's voice sounded loud. All the guys seemed to believe you, except Nikki. Nikki looked at you suspicious, but let it go for now.

The second time he almost found out was when your bands were playing at the same festival. Because you both were playing at the same place, you also slept at the same hotel.  
You're sitting in your room, not really feeling like hooking up with someone since your dysphoria is way too bad to have sex with a random person. Suddenly you hear a knock on your door. You get up and open it and behind it is your friend, Nikki Sixx.  
"Oh hey Sixx, not with a groupie, are you?"  
"For once in my life not. Can I hang out here? I may or may not have puked in my hotel room and I don't feel like hanging out there now"  
"Yeah, as long as you don't puke here"  
"Thanks"  
You open the door more so he can pass through and then close it behind him.  
"Y/n, what are these needles doing here? You're not doing heroin, are you?"  
You turn around and see Nikki staring at the needle you used earlier this evening to inject your testosterone. Your mind starts racing with all kinds of thoughts and lies. Now he'll find out you're trans and he won't want to see you anymore. "I euhm, I…" you try to come up with a lie, but you can't. "I have an illness"  
"What illness?"  
"Just an illness."  
"Don't you want to tell me?"  
You hesitate to answer. "Just a hormonal imbalance, I sometimes need to inject myself with testosterone."  
"Oh, okay"

The third time he almost figured it out was when you were with the band in a bar. Someone walked into the bar and you couldn't help but notice he looks an awful lot like you did before starting testosterone.  
"Look at that girl pretending to be a man"  
"Yeah, pathetic" you can't help but overhear the two men making gross comments about him. It honestly hits you too close to home.  
"Why would she do that to herself? She could be such a beautiful girl but instead she chooses to be a he-she. Disgusting" hearing this, your blood starts boiling. "Don't fucking call him that!" You shout out. The whole bar is looking at you now. "This guy is just trying to live his life and you're here being a little shit about that!? Low" you turn back to the band, who now look at you with surprise on their faces.  
"What was that about?"  
"That, Nikki, is called being a decent human being and standing up for other people."  
"It seemed like more than standing up for that person. It almost seemed like it was something personal. Was it?"  
"Why would it be?"  
"I don't know, maybe they offended you?"  
"Why would I be offended?"  
"How would I know? I've just never seen you that angry."  
You take a sip from your beer and try to think of something to get you out of this situation. If you don't find something quick, Nikki and the rest of the band might find out you used to be a girl, a d you're really not ready for that. Oh, you've got it!  
"I have a friend who is transgender so I get pretty defensive if someone offends a trans person."  
"If you say so. I still think you seemed to take it very personally"  
"Just leave it be, it's nothing serious"  
"Okay"

Now you are sitting here, in your dressing room in only your boxers. Dysphoria hit hard again. Why were you born like this? Why can't you be normal? Why can't you be a real man? The door opens and in comes the one and only Nikki Sixx. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Crying? You didn't even notice that. You don't answer.  
"Answer me. What's wrong?"  
"I'll never be a real man, that's wrong"  
"What do you mean? You are a real man!"  
"I'm not, okay?"  
"Why wouldn't you be?"  
"Because I wasn't born as one!"  
"You. What?"  
"I was born female. Those scars are from when I got my breasts removed. The needles you found were because I need to inject myself with testosterone. The time I was angry at those men for insulting that trans guy? That was because I am a trans guy."  
"You… you are transgender? Like, you used to be a woman?"  
"Yes. Oh shit. I scared you away by saying this, didn't I? You think I'm disgusting. I knew it"  
"No, of course not. I am surprised, yes, but not disgusted. You're still the same person."  
For the first time in a while you smile. "Thank you"  
"You don't have to thank me. You're just living your life and I shouldn't be a little shit about that."


End file.
